The Story So Far
by somethingcoolmusic
Summary: Rory and Jess think about eachother and them as a couple. Could they work out or are both of them suffering from a big case of wishful thinking?
1. Default Chapter

The Story So Far  
  
(Author's Note: Okay, my favorite band is New Found Glory so each chapter of this story will be modeled after one of their songs. However, because I'm trying to do this, the story might seem a little strange. I might have to stretch what people say, etc., to make it work. If you don't particularly care for New Found Glory [no hard feelings I promise], you should still read this story. The band isn't in it, the chapters are just modeled after the songs. Here are the lyrics to the New Found Glory songs that I am thinking of using in case you aren't familiar with them. Enjoy and please review!)  
  
"Dressed To Kill"  
  
I know it's hard for you  
  
To understand what I'm going through  
  
But now I sit here to remind myself  
  
You're always dressed to kill  
  
And you feel like you owe it to the world  
  
But you owe it to yourself  
  
And you're, you're not here  
  
And I can't stop pretending  
  
That you're forever mine...  
  
And I  
  
I can't dream anymore since you left  
  
I miss you singing me to sleep  
  
I can't wake anymore in your arms  
  
I miss you singing me to sleep  
  
"Cheer up," my friends all say  
  
You're better alone anyways  
  
But you're always on tour  
  
And you're never home  
  
I'm always dressed to kill  
  
And I feel like I owe it to the world  
  
But I owe it to myself  
  
And you're, you're not here  
  
And I can't stop pretending  
  
That you're forever mine...  
  
And I  
  
I can't dream anymore since you left  
  
I miss you singing me to sleep  
  
I can't wake anymore in your arms  
  
I miss you singing me to sleep  
  
"Cheer up," my friends all say...  
  
And I can't stop pretending  
  
That you're forever mine  
  
You're better alone anyways  
  
And you're not here, not here  
  
I can't dream anymore since you left  
  
I miss you singing me to sleep  
  
I can't wake anymore in your arms  
  
I miss you singing me to sleep  
  
"Cheer up," my friends all say...  
  
"Boy Crazy"  
  
Some girls are crazy  
  
Just listen to what I have to say about it  
  
You've gotta watch out for the beautiful ones  
  
They'll twist your head right off your neck  
  
And laugh about it with their friends  
  
That's just one night for them  
  
They target you with their eyes  
  
And move with their lips  
  
And it pulls you in  
  
She shuts you down with her voice again  
  
And now are you listening?  
  
This song goes out to girls  
  
That we haven't met just yet  
  
This song is for stupid girls  
  
Who think that every boy is all about them  
  
These girls are crazy...  
  
Just listen to what I have to say about it  
  
You've gotta watch out for the younger ones  
  
They'll tightly wrap you around their fingers  
  
And brag to all their friends  
  
It's nothing but a game to them  
  
Then target you with their eyes  
  
And move with their lips  
  
And it pulls you in  
  
She shuts you down with her voice again  
  
And now are you listening?  
  
This song goes out to girls  
  
That we haven't met yet  
  
This song is for stupid girls  
  
Who think that every boy is all about them  
  
You think you're on top of the world  
  
When all the eyes are on you  
  
Just wait until your heart breaks  
  
And you'll know how I felt when I wrote....  
  
"All About Her"  
  
Let me practice this before I say it to you  
  
I know it might come out wrong but I want it to  
  
Another chance to fight  
  
Another way to make it right  
  
So forget all of your chances  
  
It's up to you to follow through  
  
Forget the way she was  
  
Cause it's the things she does that make me  
  
Sing about her  
  
She knows I care about her  
  
She said "Be gentle boy  
  
You show a lack of character."  
  
Let me work this out  
  
Before I come back to you  
  
I know you  
  
Sometimes hate the stupid things I do  
  
Another lonely night  
  
Another way to make it right  
  
So forget al of your chances  
  
It's up to you to follow through  
  
Forget the way she was  
  
Cause it's the things she does that make me  
  
Sing about her  
  
She knows I care about her  
  
She said be gentle boy  
  
You show a lack of character  
  
There is no other way This girl is so all about me  
  
I'm sorry I can't help the way  
  
Cause it's the things she does that make me  
  
Sing about her  
  
She knows I care about her  
  
She said be gentle boy  
  
You show a lack of character.  
  
"Understatement"  
  
I'm sick of smiling  
  
And so is my jaw  
  
Can't you see my front is crumbling down?  
  
I'm sick of being someone I'm not  
  
Please get me out of this slump  
  
I'm sick of clapping  
  
When I know I can do it better for myself  
  
I'm sick of waiting  
  
Sick of all these words that will never matter  
  
I wire all these nerves together  
  
Hoping for a chance to think on time  
  
And I'm tracing over your letter  
  
To see if your intentions are as good as mine  
  
But you're getting worse  
  
I swear it  
  
It's hard to prove you're an understatement  
  
You're getting worse and I know  
  
That you'll be calling me again  
  
I'm done with everything  
  
That had to do with you  
  
Don't worry your pictures are already burned  
  
I'm done with new friends  
  
Don't sell yourself short  
  
You'll lose it in the end  
  
I can't help how I feel  
  
"My Friends Over You"  
  
I'm drunk off your kiss  
  
For another night in a row  
  
This is becoming too routine for me  
  
But I didn't mean to lead you on  
  
And it's all right to pretend  
  
That we still talk  
  
It's just for show, isn't it?  
  
It's my fault that it fell apart  
  
Just maybe  
  
You need this  
  
And I didn't mean to  
  
Lead you on  
  
You were everything I wanted  
  
But I just can't finish what I've started  
  
There's no room left here on my back  
  
It was damaged long ago  
  
Though you swear that you are true  
  
I still pick my friends over you  
  
My friends over you  
  
Please tell me everything,  
  
That you think that I should know  
  
About all the plans we made  
  
When I was no where to be found  
  
And it's all right to forget  
  
That we still talk  
  
Its just for fun, isn't it?  
  
It's my fault that it fell apart  
  
Cuz maybe You need this  
  
And I didn't mean to  
  
Lead you on  
  
You were everything I wanted  
  
But I just can't finish what I've started  
  
There's no room left here on my back  
  
It was damaged long ago  
  
Though you swear that you are true  
  
I still pick my friends over you  
  
My friends over you  
  
Just maybe you need this  
  
You need this.  
  
And I didn't mean to  
  
Lead you on  
  
You were everything I wanted  
  
But I just can't finish what I've started  
  
There's no room left here on my back  
  
It was damaged long ago  
  
Though you swear that you are true  
  
I still pick my friends over you  
  
  
  
"Sonny"  
  
I'm sorry  
  
I heard about the bad news today  
  
A crowd of people around you  
  
Telling you it's okay  
  
And everything happens for a reason  
  
When you lose a part of yourself  
  
To somebody you know  
  
It takes a lot to let go  
  
Every breath that you remember  
  
Pictures fade away but memory is forever  
  
An empty chair at all the tables  
  
And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down  
  
But it's better where you're going anyway  
  
I'm sorry  
  
I heard about the bad news today  
  
It's really hard to get through  
  
Tough times and long days  
  
But it really just depends on the season  
  
For now we'll say goodbye  
  
We know it's not the last time  
  
I've lost the best part of my day  
  
But it's better where you're going anyway  
  
This is the last thing  
  
I will remember  
  
It's better where you're going anyway  
  
  
  
"Something I Call Personality"  
  
Before you jump down my throat  
  
I'd like to present you with  
  
Something I call personality  
  
Word travels fast when you're on the road  
  
I'd like to think what I have is real  
  
Sort this out on your own time  
  
You ought to sort this out on your own time  
  
Before you jump to conclusions  
  
About all the friends I have  
  
Just remember they were born that way  
  
Word travels fast when her name's involved  
  
I'd like to think what I have is real  
  
Sort this out on your own time  
  
Go on and sort this out on your own time  
  
No matter how happy you are  
  
You'll always want more  
  
No matter how stupid I get  
  
You'll always want more  
  
  
  
"Head On Collision"  
  
I've been waiting for a good day  
  
I've been holding back long enough  
  
I've been hurting to tell you some things  
  
It's not the falling of the temperature  
  
That's making all our bones run cool  
  
It's the breeze you make  
  
The presence felt when you're around me  
  
And it feels like I'm at an all-time low  
  
Slightly bruised and broken  
  
From our head on collision  
  
I've never seen this side of you  
  
Another tragic case of feeling  
  
Bruised and broken  
  
From our head on collision  
  
I've never seen this side of you  
  
Another tragic case  
  
And I'm still waiting for a good day  
  
I think I've held this long enough  
  
I think it's safe to tell you some things  
  
It's not just what you say to people  
  
And it's not the way you look at me  
  
It's the way you present yourself  
  
For all your worst critics to see  
  
And it feels like I'm at an all-time low  
  
Slightly bruised and broken  
  
From our head on collision  
  
I've never seen this side of you  
  
Another tragic case of feeling  
  
Bruised and broken  
  
From our head on collision  
  
I've never seen this side of you  
  
Another tragic case  
  
Then you were gone  
  
You were gone  
  
All this time you just didn't know it yet  
  
You were gone  
  
All this time you just didn't know it yet  
  
You were gone  
  
And it feels like I'm at an all-time low  
  
Slightly bruised and broken  
  
From our head on collision  
  
I've never seen this side of you  
  
Another tragic case of feeling  
  
Bruised and broken  
  
From our head on collision  
  
I've never seen this side of you  
  
Another tragic case  
  
Another tragic case of feeling  
  
Bruised and broken  
  
Another tragic case and I've been  
  
Still waiting for a good day  
  
Still waiting for a good day  
  
  
  
"It's Been A Summer"  
  
I'm cracked from my head down to my spine  
  
Ready to self-destruct at any time  
  
And I'm trying to convince myself  
  
That the way I feel is all I have  
  
It could take a lifetime  
  
To realize that you're alright  
  
But she said  
  
"I'd know when you would come back"  
  
It's been a summer  
  
It's burning up in here  
  
Even thought the bed is cold on your side  
  
I'd rather die  
  
Then spend this night here without you  
  
I would try to fix these flaws of mine  
  
If I could just see you for one more time  
  
And I'm trying to convince myself  
  
That the way I feel is all I have  
  
I don't believe in sure things  
  
There's pain in what the truth brings  
  
I'd be the first one to know  
  
If it's smart for me to just let it go  
  
I'll be the laughing stock of all time  
  
Person most likely to find  
  
Deciding if it's fate that made you avoid me to this day  
  
  
  
"Forget My Name"  
  
Tell my friends I'm dead  
  
I'm leaving you, this time it's for good  
  
Tell all my friends that I'm dead  
  
It won't be long before you forget my name  
  
Can you tell  
  
That I'm losing myself  
  
I think I'm trying too hard to  
  
Let it show  
  
To let you know  
  
So trace your footsteps back to me  
  
Cause I've been gone for a long time  
  
Waiting on the sidelines  
  
Hoping for a chance to play  
  
Well I thought I would never leave anything behind  
  
I also never thought I'd say  
  
Tell all my friends I'm dead  
  
I'm leaving you, this time its for good  
  
Tell all my friends that I'm dead  
  
It won't be long before you forget my name  
  
Can you tell  
  
That I don't know myself  
  
I need someone to remind me  
  
To let it go  
  
Please let me know  
  
So trace your footsteps back to me  
  
Cause I've been gone for a long time  
  
Waiting on the sidelines  
  
Hoping for a chance to play  
  
Well I thought I would never leave anything behind  
  
I also never thought I'd say  
  
Tell all my friends I'm dead  
  
I'm leaving you, this time it's for good  
  
Tell all my friends that I'm dead  
  
It won't be long before you forget my name  
  
And if I had the chance  
  
To do it all again  
  
I wouldn't expect anything less  
  
And if I had the chance  
  
To do it all again  
  
I wouldn't expect  
  
I wouldn't expect anything less  
  
Tell all my friends I'm dead  
  
I'm leaving you, this time it's for good  
  
Tell all my friends that I'm dead  
  
It won't be long before you forget my name  
  
Forget my name  
  
  
  
"Never Give Up"  
  
Living with me  
  
I don't think it would be so bad  
  
This is the first time this year  
  
That I'm not going to make you mad  
  
I'm tired of my conscious  
  
Always telling me to stop slipping in  
  
But I can't waste a second  
  
On trains that will never begin  
  
Everyone has a head upon their shoulders  
  
We're losing our pride as we all get older  
  
Everyone has to become their saviors  
  
You might not get it right  
  
Or you might realize that its too late  
  
Don't back down  
  
I'm over the past  
  
Can't you see  
  
Don't back down  
  
I don't really care about before  
  
Before you met me  
  
Is it cool if I see you tonight  
  
There's a thousand questions  
  
I want to ask you  
  
If you think that its alright  
  
Everyone has a head upon their shoulders  
  
We're losing our pride as we all get older  
  
Everyone has to become their saviors  
  
You might not get it right  
  
Or you might realize that its too late  
  
Don't back down  
  
I'm over the past  
  
Can't you see  
  
Don't back down  
  
I don't really care about before  
  
Before you met me  
  
So don't take anything for granted  
  
Sit outside in the rain  
  
An excuse you know I planned it  
  
Every ending  
  
It's all the same  
  
Don't back down  
  
I'm over the past  
  
Can't you see  
  
Don't back down  
  
I don't really care about before  
  
Before you met me  
  
  
  
"The Great Houdini"  
  
All dressed up  
  
And nowhere to go  
  
I think I'm taking this trip alone  
  
Thirty seconds till I pass  
  
The questions you will never ask  
  
Your regrets will haunt you  
  
You know I never had to  
  
But I'm saving myself from you  
  
And did you notice anything?  
  
The change is me  
  
Now it's safe to say  
  
You will change your ways  
  
I went to your house  
  
But you weren't home  
  
I'm sure you conveniently shut off your phone  
  
I don't think that I'll ever be  
  
The person that you want of me  
  
When all that I can think about  
  
It's you I have to figure out  
  
But I'm saving myself from you  
  
And did you notice anything  
  
The change is me  
  
Now it's safe to say  
  
You will never change your ways  
  
You would give up anything  
  
To prove your point  
  
There's nothing left to say  
  
You will never change your ways  
  
I'm saving myself from you  
  
Yeah I'm saving myself from you  
  
All dressed up  
  
And nowhere to go  
  
I think I'm taking this trip alone  
  
Did you notice anything?  
  
The change is me  
  
Now it's safe to say  
  
You will never change your ways  
  
You would give up anything  
  
To prove your point  
  
There's nothing left to say  
  
You will never change your ways  
  
  
  
"Singled Out"  
  
I figured all the years we shared were proof enough  
  
To extend my hand and help you  
  
I know that getting started can be rough  
  
Enthused smile, you seemed grateful  
  
I felt real good about myself  
  
That's until the day you showed me  
  
You don't need anybody else...  
  
Why'd you have to go?  
  
And make me say these things about you  
  
Why'd you have to turn around?  
  
After all that we've been through  
  
I figured all the memories were proof enough  
  
To maybe open your eyes  
  
From the people you think hold your trust  
  
Do you ever smile and find it shameful  
  
'Cause you don't know who you are?  
  
I am glad you never told me...  
  
You don't need anybody else  
  
What will you do  
  
When there's no one to fall back on?  
  
I won't be there  
  
I've learned my lesson  
  
What will you do when there are no friends to fall back on?  
  
Because they've all been stepped on  
  
  
  
"Belated"  
  
I've never felt so bad in my entire life  
  
But this time I did it to myself  
  
What do you expect from me?  
  
I did it  
  
So what do you expect from me  
  
Let go of my hand  
  
Is it time to go?  
  
I'm not ready to turn my back on you yet  
  
I'm not going to let you down  
  
Let you down  
  
September came so quickly  
  
I wasn't prepared  
  
I didn't mean to miss your birthday  
  
What do you expect from me?  
  
I did it  
  
So what do you expect from me?  
  
Why don't you let go of my hand?  
  
Is it time to go?  
  
I'm not ready to turn my back on you yet  
  
I'm not going to let you down  
  
Bridges will fall from under us  
  
But we are strong  
  
We'll get through this  
  
The earth will open up  
  
And try to pull us in  
  
But we'll get through this  
  
Get through this  
  
"The Story So Far"  
  
I can't remember the time or place,  
  
Or what you were wearing,  
  
It's unclear about how we met,  
  
All I know it was the best conversation that I've ever had,  
  
To this day I never found someone,  
  
With eyes as wide as yours,  
  
I've been searching up and down this coast,  
  
Overlooking what I need the most  
  
Did you notice I was afraid?  
  
I thought I'd run out of things to say,  
  
Two more hours until today burns this away,  
  
And it starts all over again,  
  
The sky will never look the same again,  
  
Till you show me how it could be,  
  
The sky will never look the same again,  
  
Till you show me how it could be  
  
And everything else is irrelevant,  
  
To the story so far,  
  
A coincidence that you look like her from a far,  
  
Is it true that you like to sleep alone?  
  
Or is it fun to just tell everyone?  
  
Did you notice that I was afraid?  
  
I thought I'd run out of things to say  
  
Two more hours until today burns this away,  
  
And it starts all over again  
  
The sky will never look the same again,  
  
Till you show me how it could be  
  
The sky will never look the same again  
  
Till you show me how it could be  
  
And when the world turns over  
  
I'll keep my ears to the wall  
  
And when the world turns over  
  
I'll keep my feet straight on the ground  
  
Did you notice I was afraid?  
  
I thought I'd run out of things to say,  
  
Two more hours until today burns this away,  
  
And it starts all over again,  
  
The sky will never look the same again  
  
Till you show me how it could be  
  
The sky will never look the same again  
  
Till you show me how it could be  
  
(Author's Note: Hey, okay so this was definitely a default chapter. Nothing happened at all, hehe. I will post the first chapter soon, probably tomorrow or the next day. Thanks for reading!) 


	2. Forget My Name

The Story So Far "Forget My Name"  
  
How could I have let this happen? Tonight seems utterly unbelievable. My life went from ecstatic to an unbearable pain in a mere few hours. Now I'm just sitting here, waiting for someone to come and announce my fate. The smoke escaping from my lips makes it look as though it's cold outside, and maybe it is, but I can't tell. I'm numb on the inside.  
  
The bridge jiggles slightly behind me and subtle ripples form in the water beneath my feet. The messenger has come and he sits beside me, a melancholy look on his face. I quietly whisper a sentence of explanation, hoping it substitutes for the extent of my feelings.  
  
"I made sure that she was alright."  
  
My voice cracks at the end and I miserably look up at Luke, willing him to either tell me what to do or leave me to my own devices. He nods knowingly and stares out into the expanse of water before us thinking intently. When he finally speaks the sound startles me.  
  
"Do you want to stay? Neither your mom nor I can make you. Now it is a matter of what you really want Jess. You've been through a lot; whatever you want to do is fine with me. I'll understand."  
  
Luke never looked me in the eye the whole time he was there, he just said his piece and left as quietly as he had come. I watched him go, replaying what he had said in my mind. Did I want to stay? Did I need to go?  
  
I don't remember how I got here, but here I am, outside her window, staring at her lying comfortably on her bed. I haven't seen her since it happened. I wonder how she will react to me showing up without warning. She probably hates me and as I stand out here, I briefly wonder if I should just go back to Luke's. Then again, the thought of leaving and not saying goodbye plays in my mind and I cringe. I have to do this. I quietly knock on her window and she starts, her eyes darting to the window.  
  
Her gaze falls on mine and she smiles warmly, reassuring me that she's not mad. After unlatching the window, Rory steps aside, allowing me to make my way into her room.  
  
"My mom is home so you have to be quiet, okay?" I smile at the look on her face: a mix of worry and excitement.  
  
"Yeah." I stare intensely into her sapphire eyes until she looks away, embarrassed. To regain composure I look around for a minute, trying to find a topic of interest we could talk about. My eyes fall upon a book sitting on her nightstand. "Ah, Ayn Rand. Of course," I said, picking the book up and examining the cover. "What's this one about?"  
  
"Another story written by a political nut, you wouldn't be interested." She grinned at me and sat down on her bed, taking the book from my hands in the process. While doing that, I notice the blue cast encasing her broken arm. A pang of guilt hits my stomach as I kneel in front of her, taking the cast and examining it.  
  
"How is it?"  
  
"It's not that bad actually. It doesn't hurt and I can go around telling people at school really fake tragic stories about what happened and they'll never know the difference. So far four different people know four completely different grotesque stories." Rory smiles contently at me, and my face eases its severe frown of concern.  
  
"Any of those stories are probably better than what really happened." I look up into her eyes for a brief second before standing up and turning around. "Look, Rory, I'm really sorry about tonight. I made you go get ice cream even though we were supposed to be studying and because of it, you ended up in the hospital. I ruined what I think could have been a good friendship and I can't forgive myself for that."  
  
"Jess, wait. What are you talking about?"  
  
"Just let me finish Rory. I can't stay here anymore. I've been waiting on the sidelines for months now and I've always known that we would just be friends. That's not what I want Rory. I miss you Rory."  
  
"Jess, I'm right here."  
  
"I know, but you'll never be mine. It's like that quote, 'The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them, knowing you can't have them.'"  
  
At this point I've moved all around the room and looked at practically everything but Rory. In my mind I picture her to be staring at the back of my head, her mind running a mile a minute, trying to understand what I'm saying and failing. I move to sit next to her and force myself to look into her piercing gaze, just the way I had imagined it.  
  
"I've tried every way I know how to make you understand without hurting you. I needed you to know how I felt before I left. I care about you Rory, more than you know, but I can't do anything about it. That's why I need you to do two things for me. First, let me have this moment."  
  
She stared at me as I inched closer to her face. The last thing I remember seeing before drowning in mixed emotions was her eyes, growing anxious and nervous. She held back at first but after a second of my lips on hers, she gave in and allowed me to set the pace. I reached my hand to touch her cheek and she wrapped her hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. She wasn't supposed to want to do that.  
  
I pulled back quickly and stared at her, scared. I had been so sure of myself coming into this, but after her movement, I wasn't. Her eyes flashed with fright and concern and she looked away, ashamed at what she had done. My voice stumbled when I tried to speak.  
  
"Now, now I need you to forget me." I fought to gain control of the situation again and plead with her to look at me. When she turns back he ryes are filled with confusion but this time she can't seem to say anything and I'm grateful. "I need you to forget that I ever came here, that you ever met me. It's the only way I know that I can move on. I'm leaving tomorrow and I won't be coming back. I need you not to come and see me, not to write me, not to call me. Forget tonight and any other night for that matter ever happened. Please Rory, do that for me."  
  
I stand up and slowly bend down until my eyes are level with hers. There are tears in her eyes and she still looks confused. I kiss her softly on the lips and whisper in her ear before I climb out the window and run back to Luke's.  
  
"I love you, Rory." 


	3. Singled Out

The Story So Far "Singled Out"  
  
After Jess left that night, I stared after him for what seemed like a lifetime, hoping he would come back and say that it had been practice for his seventh period Drama class, that it was all just an act. He never came back. He didn't even look back. He just ran away. What was it he had said? He wanted me to forget him? How could I forget him?  
  
I went to Luke's the next morning and in between various townspeople coming up to me and trying to comfort me about my arm, I concluded that Jess was really gone. One look at Luke affirmed my guess. It wasn't that he was sad, more of preoccupied. Luke wouldn't admit it, but he was going to miss Jess. So would I.  
  
"What can I get you Rory?" Luke came over to where I was perched at the counter and pulled out a pad of paper.  
  
"Coffee, eggs, and information." Luke looked up at me and frowned sadly. "Luke, I want to know why."  
  
"Come back tonight after closing and we'll talk okay?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks Luke."  
  
I sat a while longer and ate my eggs, but left to catch my bus to school. That's where I am now, the bus, on my way home from another day in Hell.  
  
I got off at my regular stop and there was Dean, standing there with a big grin on his face. I had given him the letter explaining the accident last night, and though he wasn't exactly pleased, he wasn't mad at me either. I walked up to him and put on a fake smile before saying hi. He greeted me with a quick kiss and I immediately pulled back from. Dean looked concerned at first but let it slide.  
  
"So, how was your day?"  
  
"Um, fine Dean. I can't really talk though. I have a lot of stuff to do tonight."  
  
"Oh, uh, okay. Talk to you later then?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I dropped his had that he had grasped around mine and ran home before he could kiss me again. There definitely weren't any sparks anymore. Opening the door of my bedroom, I flung my backpack on my bed and sank into the chair at my desk. I pulled out a sheet of paper from the top drawer and took a pencil from the cup sitting next to my lamp.  
  
Dear Jess,  
  
I paused and thought back to last night, wondering how to begin a letter I wasn't supposed to be writing.  
  
You told me not to write this letter and I think that's the reason I am. You left so suddenly, telling me to forget all about you. How can I? Your image, your personality, your voice, especially your voice, has been burned into my mind.  
  
I figured that I had made myself pretty clear when I said my fateful, "Turn right." I want more too. After all we've been through, with Dean on my case all the time, my mom watching my every move, I thought you would have understood by now.  
  
Why'd you have to go? I need you here with me Jess. I need my friend back. Right now, that's what you are, my friend. I need you here so we can become more.  
  
You should have told me how you felt sooner. Things might be different now if you had. I think you gave up on me too easily. Don't keep your back turned much longer Jess. Everybody needs someone to love them. Come back and let me be that person.  
  
~Rory  
  
I reread what I wrote. It was pretty good but the ending seemed either too abrupt or too forceful. Oh well, maybe that's what he needed to bring him back. I folded up the paper and laid it on my bed. Then, I took out some homework to help keep me busy until I went to Luke's that night.  
  
(A/N: Okay, I'm sorry. This chapter is a little short. The next one is a little bit longer but I don't think I will get back up to real long chapters for a while. Sorry! In the next chapter, Rory goes to see Luke and hopefully she gets some answers! Thanks for reading!) 


	4. Sonny

The Story So Far 3 "Sonny"  
  
The bell tinkles at 8 o'clock and I look up to see Rory enter with a slight smile on her face. She exaggerates a shiver and I plop a cup of hot coffee in front of her.  
  
"Thanks, Luke."  
  
"Sure. So." I know what she wants from me but Jess pleaded with me not to tell her. Deep down I know he wants me to reveal everything to her, everything that happened, but he held back to protect himself.  
  
"Luke, I need you to tell me what happened. Please Luke? He just left so suddenly and he thinks I hate him and he probably hates me-"  
  
"Wait Rory, stop. First off, Jess doesn't hate you. He adored you. You were the only reason he stayed here as long as he did. I know he left suddenly but it was the only way he thought he could handle it. And lastly, he knows you don't hate him. Deep down inside, he knows. He assumed you were upset about the accident, which you have every right to be, but he knows you aren't mad at him. He feels responsible for it though." Rory's face softened as though she was sad she couldn't do anything about it.  
  
"What did he say when he told you he wanted to go back?"  
  
"Nothing really. Just that it would be easier for him to move on if he didn't have to stay here where he could be constantly reminded. You know how this town is, they don't let things go very easily. The look on his face made me understand completely. I've never seen him look so miserable, like it was all his fault and he couldn't forgive himself."  
  
I stood in front of her, staring at a poor lost girl. I wanted to comfort her and tell her that it would all work out in the end, but I couldn't. More because I wasn't sure it would work out in the end than because I wasn't really the comforting type.  
  
"Why did he leave then if he knew I wasn't mad at him?"  
  
"I'm not really sure. Maybe he thought things would be better with you and Dean if he just left. Maybe it was too much to handle. Maybe, since you were the only good thing left in this town and he thought he'd lost you, he decided it was time to leave."  
  
"I wish he hadn't."  
  
"Me too. I won't admit it to myself but he was the best part of my day."  
  
"Mine too. I'm sorry Luke. It's my fault he left."  
  
"Oh Rory, it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. We both just lost a big part of ourselves and it's going to take a while to get through it."  
  
"He's probably happier in New York anyway." She looked up a me warily and it broke my heart to see her this miserable.  
  
"Jess definitely fits in better there." We both laugh for a second but it died away quickly.  
  
"Luke, do you have Jess' address? I don't care if he told you not to tell me. Please give it to me. I need to tell him a few things."  
  
He had told me not to give it to her. He didn't specifically tell me not to talk to her, but he had told me not to give her his address. I sigh and reluctantly relinquish a piece of paper that was tacked to my bulletin board and allow her to copy it onto a napkin.  
  
"Give him a few day's time before you send him a letter. Let him think a while."  
  
"Okay Luke." She grinned up at me with her big blue eyes and I couldn't help but smile back.  
  
"Now go home. You have to have better things to do then stand around here talking to me."  
  
"Thanks Luke!" She hugged me tightly and quickly before turning around and bolting out the door.  
  
(Rory's POV)  
  
After talking to Luke, I finally had some of the answers I needed. I ran back home, the piece of napkin I had copied the address on clutched firmly in my hand. I grabbed the letter I'd written and read through it one more time before walking to the kitchen to find an envelope and a stamp. Carefully, I copied the address onto the face of the envelope, put my return address, and added the stamp to the corner. Then, I added a quick postscript to the end of the letter, something I had forgotten to write in before, and hastily shoved the letter into the envelope before sealing it up tight.  
  
I flew to the post office and sent the letter, paying to allow two days before it would arrive at Jess' apartment. As I walked back home, I hugged my jacket contently around me, not noticing a certain slip of napkin falling innocently to the ground behind me, waiting for an unsuspecting walker to come and find it.  
  
(A/N: Hey! How am I doing? I was pleased with the reviews I got for the first chapter! Wow! What did she write at the end of the letter to Jess? Who found the napkin with Jess' address on it? The answers will be revealed soon! Thanks for reading!) 


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note:  
  
Hey guys! I think I'm gonna start working on this story again. I re- listened to some New Found Glory stuff the other day, re-read my fic, and decided I should continue. However, I am moving in 4 days, so I might not get a chance to get the next chapter up until sometime in mid-June. I can guarantee about 3 or 4 more chapters. Thanks for your support!  
  
~Amanda 


	6. It's Been A Summer

The Story So Far 4  
  
"It's Been A Summer"  
  
The door to the apartment stuck in its frame and I had to kick it open because of the weight of my bag. I was cruelly welcomed by a grungy apartment that looked as though it hadn't been cleaned since I had left. I closed the door behind me and made my way down the hall to my old room. After throwing my duffel onto my bed, I left the room to see a teenage girl standing in the hallway. Her alarmed face softened when she saw me and she threw her arms around my neck.  
  
"Jess! You're back! Oh my God you're back!"  
  
I encircle her with my arms and hug her close to me. I missed her more than I thought I had. After a minute I pull back and stare at my sister.  
  
"Hey Carly."  
  
"How did you get here?"  
  
"Bus. Sorry I didn't call but I didn't have time."  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"Wow, love you too."  
  
"I'm sorry. I missed you, I love you, yadda yadda yadda, why are you back?"  
  
"I couldn't stay anymore."  
  
"What happened? Did Luke kick you out or something?"  
  
"Or something." My face turns into a tired frown as I remember the events that let to Carly and I's reunion. She notices this and hesitantly speaks again.  
  
"Lizzie didn't tell me you were coming back."  
  
"That's cuz Lizzie doesn't know."  
  
"Oh." Her face falls as she imagines all the worst-case-scenarios that could soon take place when our mother comes home. I go over them in my head as well and none of them end happily. We stand together in awkward silence for a few minutes, just staring at one another, hoping that the other isn't feeling as uncomfortable as we are.  
  
"You stopped writing." She sounds sad and I know that my letters had been the only things that had kept her going for a while.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I couldn't anymore."  
  
"I needed you."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Dustin said that you would write again. He was sure that something had happened and that tomorrow I would get a letter. Tomorrow never came."  
  
"I'm sorry. I just couldn't. With you, here, alone. I just couldn't."  
  
Again we stand and stare. Shifting from one foot to another got old about five minutes ago so now I'm left wringing my hands. I try to offer her some kind of comfort because I fear she's lost faith in her older brother.  
  
"I wanted to call."  
  
"You could have." And that's true, I could have.  
  
"I didn't know what to say."  
  
"I wouldn't have either." I'm oddly comforted by this fact and it seems like we've done all the small talk that we're going to do.  
  
"Well, I'm gonna go unpack."  
  
"Yeah, okay. Do you, uh, need any help?"  
  
"Thanks, but I think I got it." I lift my duffel from its place on the floor and make my way down the familiar path to my room, my sanctuary. It looks exactly the same. My posters are still up; the same Clash poster is falling down at the top left hand corner. My shelves are still piled high with the books I hadn't brought with me and my dresser drawers are slightly pulled out. I guess I was in a hurry when I left and didn't take the time to straighten them out.  
  
My CD player is still on the floor next to my bed and I slip in Verve Pipe. The first song comes on and I set out to clean up my room. Most of my stuff is still back at Luke's so there's not much to clean up, but I do what I can. I unpack my duffel into my drawers and hang some shirts on the hangers that are in the closet. Satisfied with my work, I flop down on my bed and take For Whom The Bell Tolls out of my back pocket.  
  
Lizzie came home a few hours later as I had dreaded. I assume she'd heard from Carly that I was back, so I wasn't surprised when she came into my room and sat down at my desk. I sat up on my bed and turned the volume down on my CD player.  
  
"Well, it's been a while, huh?" She didn't sound bitter, but not exactly welcoming either.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it has been."  
  
"What are you doing here, Jess?"  
  
"I needed to leave."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
I sighed. I knew this was going to come up. Lizzie isn't the type that's accepting and doesn't ask questions. She jumps to conclusions and I figured that it would be better that I told her straight out rather than her hearing the wrong story later.  
  
"I crashed a car."  
  
"That's it?" She seemed shocked. I would be too if I were her. I have a record that involves much worse things. She probably figured that if I came back, it would be because I'd done something really bad. Like really bad.  
  
"I hurt Rory." It was harder to say than I thought it would be. Just her name caught in my throat and I looked away from my mom's eyes.  
  
"Who the hell is Rory." She said it so exasperatedly that it shouldn't be considered a question, but I needed to answer. I needed to define my relationship with her.  
  
"The town princess, my friend."  
  
"Let me guess. You were afraid the town would attack you if you stayed because you'd hurt their precious angel?"  
  
"Partly."  
  
"What's the other part?"  
  
I sighed. I knew the answer and I knew how I felt, but I couldn't form it into words as easily as the feeling cut through me. I was ashamed. I was scared.  
  
"I'm scared. I don't trust myself not to hurt her again." I said it under my breath but she heard me anyway. Her face turned from one of shock, to one of disgrace, to one of a compassionate pity.  
  
"How long are you planning on staying?"  
  
"I'm not sure. How long can I stay?"  
  
"Depends, are you going to be screwing around again?"  
  
I looked her square in the eye, knowing that my answer to this question would determine my welcome. "No."  
  
She looked back at me for a long time. She believed me, I could see it in her eyes, but she couldn't trust me again, not this soon. "Stay. As long as you want. Just keep out of trouble."  
  
I looked at her, amazed. "Thanks."  
  
"Don't mention it. Dinner at Louie's at seven. Carly insisted on a family meal."  
  
I smiled genuinely for the first time that day. I nodded and my mom left silently. I lied there for a while, propping my head against the headboard of my bed with a single pillow. The CD had ended, but I didn't notice. Carly stood in the doorway and quietly watched me.  
  
"Yeah?" I said, letting her know I'd seen her.  
  
"Nothing. I just missed you."  
  
"I missed you too." I waved her into the room and she sat on the bed beside me. "How've things been?"  
  
"They got worse after you left. Frank kept coming back." Her voice was strained and I could tell she had been miserable.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"I went over to Dustin's whenever he came over. Mrs. Freeman always made cookies when I came over."  
  
I smiled, knowing Dustin's mom all too well. Dustin had been my best friend while I lived up here; I would probably see him later tonight after dinner. His mom always looked after us when things got bad at home. Carly was dating Dustin, even though he was seventeen and she was only fifteen. When I'd first heard they were going out, I was mad. I thought Dustin was doing it for a laugh, like he didn't really care about my sister. Then one night we all went to the movies, I went with some random girl and we doubled with Dustin and Carly. I watched them like a hawk that night, as all big brothers do, and I noticed how sweet he was with her. He was different with her than with most other girls he'd dated. When we left the theatre that night, I pulled him aside and basically said, "You break her heart, I'll break your neck." That had been the first and last time I ever quoted The Fast and the Furious. He assured me that he cared about her and would never do that, and I believed him. That had been months ago and they were still dating.  
  
"Well, don't worry. I'm here now." I hugged her close.  
  
"Are you staying?" Her voice was hesitant, like she didn't want to get her hopes up.  
  
"I'm planning on it."  
  
"Good, I don't think I could take it if you left again."  
  
She sighed happily and we both lied there for a while, thinking things over.  
  
"So, what's this I hear about Louie's?"  
  
She blushed, "Oh, yeah, well I figured that since you were back and all, we should have at least one family meal before everything is chaos again."  
  
"Good plan."  
  
(A/N: Hey guys! I reread the first couple chapters of this and decided I might continue it. I lost my notes on the chapters though, so this will probably turn out to be scattered in the end. Okay, well, thanks for reading. Please review if you get the chance. ~Amanda) 


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